Researchers Confirm the Mid-Morning Nap Is, In Fact, Essential

Columbus — In findings that surprised absolutely no one with four legs, the restorative power of the mid-morning nap has once again been confirmed, this time by a panel of dogs who fell asleep midway through reviewing the evidence.

The study identified sunbeam availability as the single greatest factor in nap quality, followed closely by the proximity of a recently vacated, still-warm couch cushion. Researchers noted that naps taken in a patch of moving sunlight require frequent relocation, a small price for optimal warmth.

The wellness desk recommends a minimum of four naps daily, rising to six during periods of light rain, when going outside is simply out of the question.