Puddle Index Hits Seasonal High; Dogs Advise Caution, Then Ignore It

Columbus — Conditions for puddle engagement are the best in recent memory, according to the back-fence weather network, which has never once been wrong about something being worth investigating.

Dogs were quick to issue a public-safety reminder that puddles should be approached responsibly, before approaching every single one at full speed. Humans, for their part, were seen carrying towels with the grim resignation of people who already know how the afternoon ends.

“You can’t fight the puddle,” said one philosophical terrier, already soaked. “You can only become one with it.”