Backseat Correspondents Demand Better Window Access in Columbus

Columbus — A coalition of backseat travelers has issued a gentle but persistent request for improved window access, citing the unacceptable volume of passing scenery currently going unreviewed.

Negotiations have centered on the precise height of the window, with passengers advocating for “fully down” and drivers countering with “halfway, and please keep your head inside the vehicle.” A compromise remains elusive.

“Every closed window,” said one weary commuter, “is a story we’ll never get to smell.”