Organized Resistance to the Bath Continues in Columbus Households

Columbus — The long campaign against the bath shows no signs of softening, with dogs region-wide deploying the time-honored tactics of the sudden disappearance, the dramatic slow-motion collapse, and the heartbreaking eyes.

Experts note the resistance is curiously selective: the same dog who treats the tub as a personal affront will hurl itself into a muddy pond without a second thought. The contradiction, researchers concede, may never be resolved.

“It’s not the water,” clarified one damp but unbroken spokesterrier. “It’s the principle.”