The Case of the Missing Sock Remains Unsolved; Lead Detective Recused

Columbus — Weeks into the investigation, the mystery of the single missing sock has produced no arrests, no recovered evidence, and one very uncomfortable detective.

Sources close to the laundry basket note the lead investigator — a spaniel with a known history in the field of textile relocation — has thus far declined to account for her whereabouts on the afternoon in question. A second sock, found partially buried in the yard, has been entered into evidence.

“I am as baffled as anyone,” the detective stated, while sitting on what appeared to be the missing item. The case remains open. The sock does not.